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Urgent Uncertainties

I may already be a bit late in bringing this up, but I had to nevertheless.

The thought first occurred at the end of high school,but I myself was unconvinced.

Then yet again, after graduation, but this time I couldn’t convince anyone.

And now as I sit one semester away from completing a professional Journalism Diploma at one of India’s finest colleges, this thought has become more than just a thought.

I NEED A GAP YEAR.

I studied and lived  in a premiere boarding school for 7 years and then spent 3 years in a leading Delhi University College and yet again I find myself in a very reputable college –I guess that is the problem. I fear my life has been driven in part or whole by ideologies of the Institutions I attended. I have been identified as a product of the schools and for as long as I can remember my life has been planned according to the academic calendars.

Another thing that is bothering me is the fact that I have lived the entirety of my life in cities-Indore,Delhi and Mumbai. It doesn’t take me long to figure out public transport or everyday city hacks, but at the end of the day, I am terrified of tiny lizards and geckos. It only goes to say that I am very out of tune with nature,as I suspect most of us who were raised in  cities are. And you know what’s worse? I once Youtube-d how to get over fear of lizards!

I am environmentally conscious but I’ve never felt dirty water. I am politically conscious but I’ve never voted. I am health conscious but I don’t have a toned body.I am hygiene conscious but I have a messy room. And what even is the point of any of it, if all I am is CONSCIOUS? And what the hell is with all the ‘but’s in my life. My desires and aspirations for my life differ vastly than that of any other’s in my class (they’re certainly more ambitious) so how can we be moulded with the same syllabus?!

I am just a few months away from my placement week in college, and my worst fear is that  I will get a job. And then will start a new chapter in my life, where my opinions and words will be that of my firm, my ideologies in alignment with my editors,my time will be my job’s and salary will be spent without  satisfaction. NO BLOODY WAY!

Now I don’t have all that much time to plan and prepare for  a gap year and I really could use your help… I could use your support, suggestions, ideas and even criticism to make my dream come true.

Please stay with me on this journey as I think things through, weigh the pros and cons and make certain decisions that might alter the course of my life. I shall keep you posted with my blogs explaining my undying desire for a Gap year and what I intend to do, and hopefully I WILL FINALLY TAKE A YEAR FOR MYSELF,TRAVEL AND LEARN and you can be a part of it all!

Thanks for being on my blog today 🙂

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9 thoughts on “Urgent Uncertainties”

  1. Now you’ve got me hooked! Can’t wait to hear about the next step! No matter, I know it will be remarquable cause I picked you as the odd one out in your class, all those years ago!

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    1. Dear Mrs.Camille,
      You traveled as an exchange teacher to India at an age when most people are reluctant to leave their comfort zones and you spread your positivity and enthusiasm among of all us students. Didn’t you think it would rub off on some of us?
      And a BIG THANKYOU for keeping in touch 🙂

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  2. Guess I am the first one to comment here.. here’s what i’ll tell you. I’m 28 and just like I have always been stuck in a rut. Almost everyday, i regret not travelling enough, and taking time off for myself to see the world my way. Money, career and future is important, but I’m sure you’ll never regret taking this one year out of your life for yourself. Just make sure you make the most of it and not waste it. Good luck 🙂

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  3. You present a great perspective which many people may feel but may not be able to address it the same manner as you did. Would love to see how you carry on. All the best!

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  4. As far as i can tell, you’ve already changed the direction of your life. Simply by knowing that there’s more to life than being in the rat race, by daring to question the “established ways and means”.
    And last but not the least, ambition is programmed into us by society, to serve THEIR means, passion is for you to serve YOURS.

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  5. I have known you since class 6 and happily enough you still carry or rather nurture ,that itch, that unresolved untamed unidentified restlessness ……which is what defines you……..go ahead and explore the world ……may be you find the questions whose answers you are looking for……..

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